


Forever Again

by orphan_account



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hisoka’s convenient narcolepsy strikes again, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling, platonic, spoilers for act 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22808914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “I feel like I don’t really deserve your forgiveness. I don’t deserve any of this.” His somber tone was uncharacteristic of April - the terrifyingly unphased and ever cool April.Of course, they’ll forgive you, but can you forgive yourself?
Relationships: Mikage Hisoka & Utsuki Chikage
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	Forever Again

He’s always had nightmares.  
It’s one of the unavoidable occupational hazards of the organisation. And once, he thought he was over them. As if they couldn’t worsen anymore. But sick with revenge, inevitable was the downfall into guilt. The intensity was unbearable.

In his nightmares, he kills. Bodies pile up, accounted for by his amounted sin. December’s family, but their skin is pale with death, blood dried to a dark scarlet. His hands drip that familiar red, and it pools on the old floor boards. Their eyes still open, outstaring. Betrayed.

He dreams of December too. Desaturated. His skin loose, and eyes blotchy dark circles. He drowns him with his own two hands. And August watches, colourless eyes that look right through him, as if he could glare right at his guilty soul.

Until he awakes, feeling violently ill.

His breathing is rapid, hard and shallow in his chest. His entire body shakes, drenched in distressed perspiration.

He takes the time to breathe. In. Out. Deeply. He attempts to convince himself it’s just a dream, despite how sickeningly real the situation felt. How heavy the burden is.

Slowly, his senses tune into reality again, and upon hearing an agitated grunt, he becomes aware of the weight curled up at the end of his bed.

“December..”

“Mm”

“Why are you in here?”

“Don’t know… I guess I wanted to be with you…”

“...Right.” His breathing is still laboured. Nausea still thick in the pit of his stomach. And somehow, December’s unexpected presence makes him feel worse. There’s something weighing on his mind.

_You don’t deserve him. Not anymore._

The silence grows, as does his discomfort. He wishes to escape, annoyed that December seems to have found his way into his previously impenetrable domain. This was a place where he could be alone at night, when he was too tired, and too guilty to go anywhere near Chigasaki’s room and burden him with his suffering.

But December is selfish, and falls asleep where he pleases.

He assumes he won’t protest his departure, and turns to leave, until December’s sleepy voice breaks the silence.

“Nightmares?”

“Yeah”

“Me too…”

He sighs, and something tight and sentimental grasps his chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?..” December asks.

“No” He says bluntly.

He thinks of August in his dreams. Sometimes his soft blonde hair blows lightly in the breeze. It brushes his cheeks, slightly rosy from the cold, emphasising his warm smile. Sometimes they eat gingerbread together, and the moon shines bright above them, casting his face in lunar light.  
Sometimes, like tonight, he’s cold with death. Nightmarish and cruel. Subconscious symbolism of his own betrayal.

It’s disturbing, and something protective in him doesn’t want December to imagine such gruesome things.

“April” December says, moving to sit up, and look him tentatively in the face. “We’re a family, and.. He wouldn’t like you to carry burdens on your own.”

“And when did you become such a busybody? You sound just like him.”

“I guess so…” He smiles softly, the distant sorrow of reminiscence flickers in his uncovered eye.  
“The whole time I’ve been here I’ve had nightmares about him you know… But I’d usually just forget them… still there was this strange sense of sorrow that came over me every night, like I was grieving but I couldn’t remember who for… It was lonely and confusing, but my family were always here for me…” He pauses.

“I’m happy here in the present… and… I want you to be too... so can you tell me about your dreams too?” December asks, a sad and emploring look on his pale face.

April sighs, and bites his lip. He wants the same seamless closeness the three of them used to have. More than anything, he wants to go back. But what’s done is done, and no amount of hiding himself will bring August back. The secrets he holds only seem to deepen the rift between him and December. So, almost regretfully, he speaks.

“I’m grateful, for you, and for your family. Most of all, I’m grateful to August, for everything he gave us… but I almost destroyed it… everything he gave you with his final wish…”

_Of course, they’ll forgive you, but can you forgive yourself?_

“I feel like I don’t really deserve your forgiveness. I don’t deserve any of this.” His somber tone was uncharacteristic of April - the terrifyingly unphased and ever cool April. December came with his family, smashing down his walls, making him feel pitiful and exposed.

“Sorry”. He finishes.

“It’s not your fault”

“Ah, but it is December.” He laughs bitterly, and turns to leave. “It always is”

“You’re leaving?”

“I am an intruder here. If you won’t even let me sleep in my own bed of course I’m leaving”

“Stay with me”. He says, pulling at the black fabric. “I think we’ve both made a lot of mistakes but.. I don’t want to lose my precious family again. If you don’t want to betray August’s wishes again you should stay with me… and maybe try to forgive yourself.”

He sighs,a fond irritation in his voice.  
“How am I supposed to refuse you December?”

“You don’t. Now lie down.”

“What?”

“I’m tired…” He pulls his body down into the sheets, and makes himself comfortable next to April. “Sleep is important.”

“You should know…”

December falls asleep within seconds, his breathing slow and quiet. April finds comfort in just watching the way his chest rises and falls, the proof that they are alive.

It feels strange, alien, although the three of them used to do this all the time.

“...I’m sorry I blamed you.” He says to the silence of the room, but he knows full well, December is listening.


End file.
